New Adventures

There are many things that I’ve been meaning to blog about, but in my list of things to do, blogging hasn’t been very near the top lately. I’ve been working on writing articles to send out to philosophy journals, so I’m using my most productive writing time for that rather than for blogging. I’m making a major transition right now, however, so it seems like I ought to mention it here, and reflect a little bit on why I think it’s good for me.

When I think about it, I’d have to say I think that experiencing a variety of things in life is important to me. Personally, however, my instinct when I’m confronted with the option of trying something outside of my comfort zone is to come up with reasons why I’d better not. I’ve worked, and continue to work, on saying yes to these opportunities instead of no. Rather than not going to a barbeque because I won’t know many people there, or not talking to someone who asks me for change because it might be awkward, or not going to a movie because it will cost twice as much as it did when I was a kid, I swallow my reservations and go with the flow. No, these aren’t major things, but they’re small steps toward being the person I want to be and think I should be. Usually, in retrospect, saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’ leaves me happier.

What I’m really thinking about today, however, is a bigger change. If I go to a concert and am uncomfortable fighting through the crowd the whole time, I won’t be any worse for it the next day--other than possibly wishing I’d done something else with my time. These day to day affirmations are low risk. If you asked me about the importance of new experiences, however, I’d certainly include bigger changes. Always living within your comfort zone, you’ll never find what else might be rewarding.

Despite the fact that I value diversity of experience, I’ve lived my whole life in Illinois. I’ve travelled some, but when it comes down to it I’ve never been out of state for more than three weeks in a row. I’ve lived in different parts of the state: growing up in the suburbs, going to school in a small city in central Illinois, and finally ending up here in Chicago. These have been very different experiences in some senses, but very similar in others.
Since being here in Chicago, I’ve come to think of myself as essentially an urban person. I enjoy the diversity and density of the city population. The greater the diversity, the less pressure I feel to be someone I’m not, because there is no ‘normal’. The density of population means that I’ve geographically close to everything I need and I spend most of my time in just a few neighborhoods. I find it liberating to be able to get most everywhere on foot, and I enjoy my encounters with others on public transit. Being close to my roots, I’m close to many of the people who are most important to me as well. Some of my friends and family are in other parts of the country, but the majority of them are in the area, and those whom I’m closest to are right here in Chicago.

I’ve been saying for a number of years that I want to live outside of Illinois at some point in my life. When it comes down to it, however, it has never seemed like a good moment. The prospect of packing everything up and travelling somewhere new, where I don’t know anyone, is more than a little daunting. I guess it’s really the other side of that coin that gets me: the prospect of travelling somewhere away from all those who are closest to me. I’m not worried about losing touch with them, but I know how hard it will be to not see them regularly.

There’s no time like the present, and despite my trepidation about leaving Chicago, I’m excited to be embarking on a new chapter in my life. Being away from everyone I know and love will be difficult, but exploring a new city, albeit one somewhat smaller one than I’m used to, will be exciting. It’s a time for me to act on decisions about who I want to be: decisions that are difficult to make when I’m in my comfort zone. I’ll start making conversations with strangers, I’ll try out new places instead of frequenting the places where I’m already a regular, I’ll figure out my way around town.

It helps, of course, that my spare time will be consumed by my new job, which I am eagerly anticipating. I’ll be teaching full time and spending my days engaging with young minds about things that interest me. This is my chance to see whether this is my calling, that is, whether I can affect good in the world by inspiring students—as they form their lives and decide what to do with their futures—to reflect on what roles they want to play as citizens of the world.

It remains to be seen how this adventure will go for me, but the closer I get to it, the more energized I am to set out on it. It makes me realize that, compared to most people I know, I have very little tying me down to Chicago. The decision to head off to Washington was made easier because I’m only making a commitment for a year, but if I’m honest with myself, I realize that I just might enjoy being someplace new and unfamiliar, and I might not be ready to come back to Chicago after just a year. I might realize that I can stay in touch with everyone perfectly well from a distance, that teaching is what I want to do, even if it means being far from everything that’s familiar to me, even if it means settling somewhere that I would never choose if it weren’t for having a job there.

Farmers Markets

Sometimes I forget that 'trying to be good' isn't all work and no play. This is an incredibly important thing to remember, and keeping it in mind certainly has to be part of any attempt at 'being good.' Today marks the beginning of my local farmers markets, a time that I truly cherish. Last year I went to two markets regularly, one on Wednesday afternoons and another on Saturday mornings. These were just about perfectly spaced out through the week, so I could shop for a few days worth of produce at each. That way I wouldn't worry about things going bad, and I'd be compelled to eat whatever I bought (instead of putting off eating it for a week). Unfortunately, those markets don't start until a little later in the season. When finding their starting dates, however, I discovered three other markets nearby! Now I have Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday markets in addition to the Wednesday and Saturday ones that start later in the summer.

In terms of trying to make my actions align with my values, getting almost everything I eat from farmers markets over the summer is a pretty solid way to go. I get to support small, local, and largely organic farms, get food that isn't shipped across the country (or the world), develop relationships with my farmers (and otherwise be a participant in my community), and eat healthier all in one go! Also, everything is absolutely delicious.

Another way that this is good is that it helps me to try new things. Instead of wandering through the grocery store (or browsing the internet) looking for something new and interesting, I can just ask the people who grow the food for suggestions. Normally I'm pretty shy, but that's something that I try to work on anyways, and the farmers market is a rewarding place to try out starting a conversation with a stranger.

This post is pretty rambling and not very substantive, but I just ate a huge kale and asparagus salad, and I'm feeling pretty good.

Do It Yourself: Too High A Cost

In my ongoing quest to try to live more ethically, there are a lot of things that I end up spending time on that most people avoid by paying a few extra dollars, creating a little more waste, or taking part in other harmful (albeit psychologically removed) systems that connect us to the rest of the world. One area where I consistently have trouble finding a good alternative to the status quo is clothing. In most cases the clothes we see in stores are made in far-off countries and we have little to no way of knowing the wages and working conditions of the people making them, save the occasional exposé. A few companies make an attempt to document their factory conditions so they can declare their wares socially conscious, while others try to avoid the issue by doing all of their production in America where we have stricter rules and regulations.

These few companies tend to have other problems: their products tend to be extremely expensive (a byproduct of paying for fair wages and safe factories), and there are frequently few or no choices of style. If I need a new pair of pants, for example, I can pay $130 for a pair of organic-cotton fair-wage nearly-unbearably-styleless blue jeans, or pay $30 for a pair of thin hemp tie-dyed hippy pants. Finding something that I would actually like to wear without paying an arm and a leg is strikingly difficult.

The other option, which I usually take, is to find things second-hand. Thrift and consignment are a way to become a little more removed from the harms of production such as sweatshops. Sure, thrift and consignment are only options because the structures around the rest of the clothing industry exist, but at least I’m not directly supporting any particular company’s decisions to always go with the cheapest factories available. It’s not a perfect solution, but it seems to be a step in the right direction.

Of course (and now I’m finally getting to the do-it-yourself topic that got me started on this post), shopping second hand means I’m limited to what other people get rid of. It’s tough to find things that I like and that fit me, so again it can feel pretty constraining. My solution lately has been to take a DIY approach to more of my clothing. So far my attempts have been fairly limited (making shorts out of old pants I never wear, sewing a new watchband when my old one wears out, making a new bag out of an old cargo pants pocket) but I’ve been thinking about branching out a little as well. Instead of searching and searching through thrift shops for a few items that I like, maybe I can buy a few things with potential, and make some alterations from there. Simple sewing is definitely something I enjoy, so as a solution to a problem in addition to a hobby, I certainly plan to keep up.

The broader question that it makes me wonder about is whether spending hours hemming a new pair of shorts—and thus avoiding taking part in a system that harms the people impoverished nations—is the most ethical option available. If I’m faced with the task of finding something to wear and my options are to pay hundreds of dollars, spend hours, or just go to my nearest Target, what’s the right thing to do? If I spend the money, I’ll be using resources that could go to organizations that are saving lives, but I’ll be avoiding contributing to sweatshop labor. If I buy second-hand and sew, I’ll still have the money, but I’ll be using up chunks of my own time, which it seems could likely be spent having a better impact on the world. If I just buy any clothes that I like and that are cheap regardless of any socially-irresponsible conditions they may come from, I can at least still have money and time to contribute to fighting other issues in the world.

It’s an interesting problem in part because it has an answer—but it’s an answer that’s beyond my ability to calculate or know. Some combination of spending money, time, and participating in existing social structures will yield the most good and cause the least harm. If I could know exactly how much good I could bring about by volunteering that time or donating that money, or how much harm my support for sweatshop labor would cause, I could at least have a significant guide in terms of what the ideal combination of those pieces would be. Certainly, other factors would come into play: for someone excellent at sewing but lacking other significant skills, taking the DIY route is probably ideal. For someone with a keen business sense and knowledge of how to invest in ways that will best fight poverty and curable disease, maximizing savings may be the best option. For most of us though, I wonder about the relative value of avoiding harmful systems to spending money and time on sustainable and socially responsible products.

(There’s also the option of just wearing whatever ugly, cheap, second-hand clothes I can find. This seems to be the most ethical option hands-down by avoiding the pitfalls of all the others. But personally I’m not there yet. I think it’s an important possibility: that the right thing to do is to totally ignore our appearances and wear whatever fits from the Salvation Army. However, given that most of us have to interact with others who are constantly judging us based on our appearance, I think we have to explore other less-than-perfect-but-still-better-than-the-status-quo options as well.)

One final thought—there still remains a broader solution, brought to us by economics: it’s inefficient for me as an individual to make my own clothes, but as more and more people want easy, affordable, and socially responsible solutions to their consumer needs, market forces will (at least in theory) begin to bring those sorts of options into existence. Right now it seems that the market for sweatshop-free fair-trade clothes is too limited to sustain the kinds of options that I’d like to see when I go to a store, but more people put their money where their values are we might see a shift in a better direction.

PS. This has been a long post. If anyone is still actually reading this, thanks for sticking with me.

Calling

I’ve been in school for almost as long as I can remember. The answer to the question, “What do you do?” has always been “I’m a student.” For me, this graduation will be different from all the others: I will graduate without plans to go to school next year. As a grad student I’ve been so used to saying “I hope to graduate in ____” that I have a hard time even understanding what it means to actually be done. A little formatting and a few forms, and all the requirements will be fulfilled. And then what? What’s next?

Back in Spring of 2010—the last time I was teaching—I was certain that education was my calling. I knew that I wanted to work toward making the world a better place, and I was certain that teaching courses like Ethics and Social and Political Philosophy was the way to go about doing that. I helped students to reflect on what it means to be in the world with others, and at a time in their lives when they were likely to be questioning some of the things that they had always assumed to be true. If I could awaken just a few students each semester to the reflective life, open a few students’ eyes to the ways their actions impact those around them, I’d be making a difference. More recently I’ve started to question my belief that this is necessarily the best use of my talents. In some ways I’ve always wondered if teaching were really my best option for working toward a better world, but being a teacher and experiencing how much I really enjoyed interacting with students and exchanging ideas, I pushed other options out of my head: if I could do good in the world while doing what I enjoyed, why look for other possibilities? Having been away from teaching for a year now, and having had my first unproductive swing at the academic job market, I’m considering other options. Also, writing a dissertation on the nature of our responsibility to the severely impoverished will make one wonder if one could be doing more to fulfill those obligations.

Certainly, teaching is still something I’d love to do, but I quite suspect that there is other meaningful work out there that would use my abilities and allow me to work toward a more just world. Lots of organizations have goals of alleviating poverty, meeting people’s basic needs, giving people opportunities to improve their lives, or something similar. I’ve learned to research, write, proofread, and edit; I’ve learned to be self-motivated and to set boundaries and good habits to manage my own time; I’ve honed my problem-solving and critical reasoning skills. Surely I can use this know-how to work for the greater good. More specifically, however, I have no idea what sort of job all of that might translate into.

So far I feel like this post isn’t saying a whole lot. I guess I’m just finding myself in a very unfamiliar place. On the one hand I have a passion for social justice and feel called to work toward making the world around me a better place, and on the other hand I have no concrete ideas about how exactly to do this. It’s job search time, and hopefully I’ll find something inspiring.

Ulysses Contract

I honestly can’t remember the last time I gave something up for lent. I clearly remember other people around me agonizing about what they ought to do or give up, but I don’t remember this being a particular feature of my own Lenten experience. Probably thanks to the most recent Radiolab, this year I decided to try it out. At the New Year I blogged about how I thought New Year’s resolutions were unnecessary from an abstract perspective, but useful as one of many times throughout the year when we’re supposed to reflect on how we can improve ourselves. I said my main resolution was to reflect more, which I stuck with pretty well for a few days, stuck with more or less for a few weeks, and then pretty much forgot. Fortunately for me, we’re already at another season to reflect on self-betterment.

The episode of Radiolab I mentioned earlier was really pretty interesting. The show is made up of three stories, and it’s the first one that stands out to me: a woman who smokes two packs a day for decades, after many unsuccessful attempts to quit and feeling harassed by her friend, suddenly declares, “If I smoke one more cigarette, I’m giving $5,000 to the KKK.” She made the vow, and she took it seriously enough that she never smoked again: she’d wake up in the night, reach for a smoke, and say, “hold it, no way.” The hosts of Radiolab broke down the psychology of it by saying that normally our short-term impulses outweigh our long-term desires simply because they’re more immediate—but by creating a situation where we face immediate emotional pulls as strong as the impulses, we can override this natural state of things. They compared it to Ulysses binding himself to the mast of his ship on the way past the sirens in the Odessy, telling his crew not to untie him no matter what happened. This method can be used in a physical way, like tying yourself to a ship, but it can also be less concrete, as in making a vow to give to a cause that you find reprehensible, and it can also be as simple as making a decision (instead of recounting the whole Radiolab episode, I recommend you go listen to it: in one of the stories, a man changes the path of his whole life based on a ‘coin flip’).

For Lent, I decided that I wanted to cut down on my use of Facebook and news sites. I didn't give them up entirely because they both serve an important role for me (keeping in touch with friends and what’s going on in the world). That being said, Facebook, The New York Times, and Huffington Post are my also main sources of procrastination, and are so much of a habit that I’ll sometimes be about to do something productive and find myself on Facebook before I even process that I’m doing it. I’ve found that limiting myself to once a day for these sites has been extremely useful for my productivity. Sure, sometimes I just find another way to procrastinate, but I’m now more selective about when I use Facebook and which news stories I read. As evidence: I’m blogging for the first time in two months.

Returning to the idea of the Ulysses contract, I wanted to say a few words about trying to live an ethical life in a world of easy consumption. I occasionally find myself wondering if my efforts not to negatively impact others around me in fairly removed ways (e.g., not eating meat, not buying clothes from sweatshops, recycling) is just an indication that there’s something wrong with me: Do I have some source of deep-seated psychological guilt? Do I have some form of OCD that amounts to an inability to stop thinking about how I’m affecting other people? But I think what’s really going on can be explained by the same phenomenon that explains how the woman I mentioned above quit smoking: the way I think about living in a world with other people makes the ways that most people contribute to harming others immediate to me. Yes, a hamburger looks tasty and would be satisfying in an immediate sense, but eating it would also be distressing in an immediate sense: I’d know that by consuming it I would be supporting a meat industry that hurts people (I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about how exactly eating meat hurts people in a previous post, so I won’t go over that again here). Buying a shirt produced in a sweatshop might be gratifying in some way, but it would also be paying to support institutions that keep people from having fulfilling lives. For me, in the short term, the negative impulses for these sorts of actions outweigh the positive.

The real question that remains is why I feel this so acutely for some issues: is it just habit? Is it because I spend time reading about the effects of our society’s way of life? Surely there are other ways that I negatively impact people that I don’t feel as bad about, or causes that other people feel in a strong and immediate sense that I don’t respond to at all. Are all of these reactions ways that we bind ourselves, or do they have some other source?

New Year’s Resolutions

If I had to choose between voting either yea or nay, I’d vote in favor of New Year’s resolutions. It’s not that I hold any particular fondness for them, or that I’ve made any particularly challenging or important ones over the years, but more that I support the general sentiment behind them: reflecting on one’s life and making a decision about how that life could be better in the year to come. My only beef with them, really, is the time frame. Making resolutions for a whole year, and only doing so once a year, seems to be dooming yourself to failure. I’m lucky if I even remember what my previous resolutions were, let alone actually keeping them in mind the whole year in between.

What I’m really trying to get at is this: the reminder to reflect on our lives and change them for the better is important, but even better is a way of life that involves continuous reflection and change. Now, as good as our intentions are, it’s easy to get into a rut, and a little reminder to do some reflecting is definitely called for. Yes, sometimes things might jump out at us as needing to change, and we can deal with those as they come, but other things will only be apparent if we take a minute to pause and consider how we can make our lives better: do our actions correspond with our values? Are we living in ways that simply gratify us, or are we actually living lives that will make us happier? What do we want out of life, anyway? These are the kinds of questions that I want to reflect on regularly, and that I think we could all benefit from thinking about. Frequently I do think about these things, but sometimes they get pushed out of mind. Sometimes I feel too busy, or too stressed, and I forget to reflect.

My solution? A new resolution: more personal reflection. When I get to the end of a month, I want to ask myself, “Did I get everything I could have out of that month? What changes can I make to how I live the next month that will make me happier with it at its end?” When I get to the end of a week, I want to ask myself, “Was that a week that I was satisfied with, or did I just let another week go by without appreciating it?” When I get to the end of a day, I want to ask myself, “Was there anything I didn’t do today that I wish I’d done? Is there anything I can try to do differently tomorrow?” Maybe this will be too much. Maybe when I get to the end of the first couple of weeks, my answer will be, “Yes, I need to change, I need to reflect less because I’m stressing myself out trying to change too much.” But for now, I’m going with my philosophical training, which tells me that self-reflection is the best policy.