There are many things that I’ve been meaning to blog about, but in my list of things to do, blogging hasn’t been very near the top lately. I’ve been working on writing articles to send out to philosophy journals, so I’m using my most productive writing time for that rather than for blogging. I’m making a major transition right now, however, so it seems like I ought to mention it here, and reflect a little bit on why I think it’s good for me.
When I think about it, I’d have to say I think that experiencing a variety of things in life is important to me. Personally, however, my instinct when I’m confronted with the option of trying something outside of my comfort zone is to come up with reasons why I’d better not. I’ve worked, and continue to work, on saying yes to these opportunities instead of no. Rather than not going to a barbeque because I won’t know many people there, or not talking to someone who asks me for change because it might be awkward, or not going to a movie because it will cost twice as much as it did when I was a kid, I swallow my reservations and go with the flow. No, these aren’t major things, but they’re small steps toward being the person I want to be and think I should be. Usually, in retrospect, saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’ leaves me happier.
What I’m really thinking about today, however, is a bigger change. If I go to a concert and am uncomfortable fighting through the crowd the whole time, I won’t be any worse for it the next day--other than possibly wishing I’d done something else with my time. These day to day affirmations are low risk. If you asked me about the importance of new experiences, however, I’d certainly include bigger changes. Always living within your comfort zone, you’ll never find what else might be rewarding.
Despite the fact that I value diversity of experience, I’ve lived my whole life in Illinois. I’ve travelled some, but when it comes down to it I’ve never been out of state for more than three weeks in a row. I’ve lived in different parts of the state: growing up in the suburbs, going to school in a small city in central Illinois, and finally ending up here in Chicago. These have been very different experiences in some senses, but very similar in others.
Since being here in Chicago, I’ve come to think of myself as essentially an urban person. I enjoy the diversity and density of the city population. The greater the diversity, the less pressure I feel to be someone I’m not, because there is no ‘normal’. The density of population means that I’ve geographically close to everything I need and I spend most of my time in just a few neighborhoods. I find it liberating to be able to get most everywhere on foot, and I enjoy my encounters with others on public transit. Being close to my roots, I’m close to many of the people who are most important to me as well. Some of my friends and family are in other parts of the country, but the majority of them are in the area, and those whom I’m closest to are right here in Chicago.
I’ve been saying for a number of years that I want to live outside of Illinois at some point in my life. When it comes down to it, however, it has never seemed like a good moment. The prospect of packing everything up and travelling somewhere new, where I don’t know anyone, is more than a little daunting. I guess it’s really the other side of that coin that gets me: the prospect of travelling somewhere away from all those who are closest to me. I’m not worried about losing touch with them, but I know how hard it will be to not see them regularly.
There’s no time like the present, and despite my trepidation about leaving Chicago, I’m excited to be embarking on a new chapter in my life. Being away from everyone I know and love will be difficult, but exploring a new city, albeit one somewhat smaller one than I’m used to, will be exciting. It’s a time for me to act on decisions about who I want to be: decisions that are difficult to make when I’m in my comfort zone. I’ll start making conversations with strangers, I’ll try out new places instead of frequenting the places where I’m already a regular, I’ll figure out my way around town.
It helps, of course, that my spare time will be consumed by my new job, which I am eagerly anticipating. I’ll be teaching full time and spending my days engaging with young minds about things that interest me. This is my chance to see whether this is my calling, that is, whether I can affect good in the world by inspiring students—as they form their lives and decide what to do with their futures—to reflect on what roles they want to play as citizens of the world.
It remains to be seen how this adventure will go for me, but the closer I get to it, the more energized I am to set out on it. It makes me realize that, compared to most people I know, I have very little tying me down to Chicago. The decision to head off to Washington was made easier because I’m only making a commitment for a year, but if I’m honest with myself, I realize that I just might enjoy being someplace new and unfamiliar, and I might not be ready to come back to Chicago after just a year. I might realize that I can stay in touch with everyone perfectly well from a distance, that teaching is what I want to do, even if it means being far from everything that’s familiar to me, even if it means settling somewhere that I would never choose if it weren’t for having a job there.
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